April Fools came early for some with the announcement of a brand new subscription service for none other than GTA Online.
No, I’m not making that up. Released back in September 2013, with each subsequential re-release of Grand Theft Auto V be it ported to next-generation consoles and PC, every time Take-Jew Interactive and subsidiary Rockstar Games repackages GTA V for sale which undoubtedly becomes a success granted the increase revenue from every re-release of GTA V when it comes to in-game “shark card” microtransactions.
With each new successful re-release of Grand Theft Auto V does Rockstar and Take-Jew get all the more bolder, as they’ve now stepped out of the shadow of Skyrim in terms of repackaged garbage by offering a new monthly subscription service as an incentive to the most delusional consumers.
Exclusive to modern consoles, that being the Soyny PlagueStation 5 and the Microsoft XBOX Series X/S, which themselves require a monthly subscription service to actually play online, Rockstar Games is giving its gullible retarded players the opportunity to increase their monthly bill to buy in-game items on GTA Online.
The GTA+ subscription services goes live on March 29th and will provide retarded consumers $500,000 in-game on a monthly basis, 500K in GTA Online may very well have a value of $9.99 USD but GTA$500,000 provides you with next to nothing during actual gameplay.
Of course, for a game which is nothing but a massive grind fest of repeating the same missions and or races with drip fed content expansions and customization being dropped on a regular basis, in-game money isn’t the only “benefit” to signing yourself up to Take-Jew’s little scheme.
GTA+ Members will also be provided additional GTA$ and RP bonuses when grinding the same missions on repeat, followed by exclusive vehicle upgrades and member only discounts.
No actual word is known whether or not future content updates will have specific items / missions or other mundane bullshit exclusive to GTA+ members but I believe in just a few short months the answer to that will be a resounding yes.
Rockstar Games is so generous they are even offering a free “Principe Deveste Eight” in-game vehicle, valued at GTA$1,795,000 which in terms of Rockstar’s cancerous shark cards would require a minimum purchase of $30 USD and a little bit of grinding, or $50 USD for a guaranteed purchase straight up.
In-game Yacht owners will be able to upgrade to the Aquarius Super Yacht at no additional cost, with GTA+ members also receiving gay in-game apparel such as a single tee, a baseball top and shorts.
A GTA+ subscription will set the consoomer back at least $6 per month and provides little to no actual incentive of purchase for those who continue to play the most barren online cashgrab nine years later.
Initially, this announcement was pegged online by various urinalist publications as if Take-Jew and Rockstar Games were going to be announcing the next installment of the Grand Theft Auto franchise, more rather their sheer kikery has blind sighted us all with such arrogance.
But this is clown world so I suppose anything is possible these days, where a nine year old game that rakes in hundreds of millions each and every quarter can simply start offering a subscription service for in-game benefits and “swag”.
Grand Theft Auto V is truly the money printer that just keeps on printing, considering how hollow and bland the core gameplay actually is with GTA Online, people seem rather outraged over the same bullshit grind philosophy being introduced in Gran Turismo 7 but when it comes to GTA nobody bats an eye.
Because these microtransaction riddled grind fests are immensely popular and profitable might I add, they are a true tell sign of where the industry is heading as GTA Online has done for the past nine years already.
The popularity of Grand Theft Auto V and subsequently GTA Online is unparalleled with GTA V topping the most recent sales charts for digital downloads in the UK, taking the top spot from Elden Ring, it’s well documented at this point that Rockstar themselves have abandoned future prospects for the online portion of Red Dead Redemption 2 in favor of the everlasting heap of garbage that is GTA.
Because the sad reality is that the unrelenting success of Grand Theft Auto V and bullshit such as GTA+ isn’t entirely at the fault of Rockstar Games and parent company, Take-Two Interactive.
The players are also to blame, faggot gaymers continue to finance Rockstar with each re-release of GTA V, players who continue to buy microtransactions because it’s simply much faster than grinding the same set of missions on a loop for days on end.
They say that Hubris is the downfall of the Jew but I’m not so sure about that when looking at the GTA+ subscription, because without a doubt there will be lots of players, majority of them being children or at least man-children consoomers who’ll gladly sign up for the monthly subscription.
We’ve devolved to the point where we’re sold games at full price, laced with additional downloadable content, battle pass systems and microtransactions to boot but now Rockstar Games is transcending the industry by introducing an entirely monthly subscription scheme for one singular game, it’s simply staggering.
(Special Thanks to “StreetMix” for bringing this cancer to my attention.)