Retailer Sells God of Soy: Ragnarok Weeks Early, Director Throws Twitter Tantrum
31 October 2022
God of War

2018’s God of Soy has a sequel coming out in just a couple of weeks, I’ve horridly glossed over its woke faggotry over a year ago.

Cory Barlog has been at Santa Monica Studios since the development of God of War 2, but has obviously been chugging soylent nonsensically when the studio decided to reboot the franchise into a more woke, inclusive and cinematic experience.

2018’s God of War Reboot is a pile of shit, a then PlayStation exclusive title, the game itself is a “marvel” of story writing, with Cory Barlog coming up with the cinematic masterpiece.

The story of the God of War Reboot? Kratos moves to Scandinavia after murdering the entirety of Greece where he then has a child, offscreen with a woman who dies, offscreen.

With the game being summarized as a long quest to deliver her ashes to her homeland while also murdering their way through Scandinavia, alongside some bullshit prophecies about the end of the world or something.

Kratos in this stellar reboot meant for film decides to cuck himself by not using his weapon, the Blades of Athena, he’s so damn strong he is unable to jump while the actual combat of God of War’s 2018 reboot is garbage slow paced nonsense clearly mimicking that of “RPG’s” such as Dark Souls.

God of War Ragnarok expands upon this, as you find out that Kratos’ son is the key to ending the Norse world, your dead wife hooking up with you to create the little tyke bomb, the Norse gods are dysfunctional meaning their death is seen as you putting them out of their misery so you don’t inherently feel bad for it.

Anyways the final boss of God of War Ragnarok is Odin, here’s a small snippet of the final boss battle.

How exactly do people have their hands on the game which is set to launch in a couple of weeks you may ask? Retail stores that obviously couldn’t really give less of a fuck decided to sell the game in advance.

Which is hysterical because there are now a plethora of leaks surfacing on the internet resulting in the game’s lead developer, Cory Barlog to have a big sook on social media.

Cory Barlog is steaming mad that gaymers are experiencing and sharing his retarded storyboard weeks early, throwing a bitch fit on Twitter stating how he now understands why it’s beneficial for game developers to push just an activation code on the physical disc rather than having the disc contain any actual game data so the game cannot be leaked online.

It’s essential that gaymers pay for God of Soy Ragnarok to embrace the multiverse story and all of its black Vikangz rather than experience the fuckfest themselves before the game even releases.

Why Santa Monica Studio hasn’t already followed the trend set by other developers where “physical” copies of games and media are essentially digital activation codes where the end user is then prompted to install the game itself directly to the system’s storage.

We’ve been seeing this sort of trend for years now the point where physical “discs” are made out of goddamn cardboard containing an activation code and nothing more.

I for one don’t generally care for the anti-consumer cries and please of Cory Barlog and his rubbish games, God of War as a franchise has been thoroughly censored and neutered with the radicalized reboot, Cory himself writing a shitty story to go along with shitty cinematic games.

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