Embracer Group (THQ Nordic) Goes On A Merging Spree – Gobbles Up Easybrain, Aspyr Media and Gearbox Software for $2 Billion
3 February 2021
Aliens Aspyr Media Borderlands Duke Nukem Easybrain limited Embracer Gearbox Software Nordic THQ

The Embracer Group otherwise known as Nordic Games and parent company of THQ Nordic, Koch Media and Saber Interactive have been filling the endless void that is their stomach by purchasing more and more development studios over the last few years in an attempt to become as big of a self-indulgent pig as EA Games.

However today, mysteriously it seems that the Swedish based group had a big of a cocaine binge as it has announced its plans to merge with as it acquires three new studios.

Starting things off, the Embracer Group has acquired the Cyprus-based mobile games developer known as Easybrain for a total sum of $640 million, on the basis that the Easybrain Limited group shall receive cash payment and Embracer Group shares valued at the $640 million dollar figure however additional payments of up to $125 million are in consideration provided that the newly acquired group meet set targets.

What can I say about Easybrain Limited? Absolutely nothing. Never heard of them, mobile gaming is for faggots anyway. However a quick glance at their website and it’s pretty clear as to why the Nordic Group have acquired these artisans. 

With such hit classics as Sudoku.com and Killer Sudoku I’m already lunging over my chair in anticipation of what this fine Cyprus based studio will create now that they’re apart of the THQ Nordic family.

Moving onto the second acquisition for the day under the pretense of Embracer’s subsidiary, Saber Interactive has agreed to purchase the Aspyr Media group for $100 million with additional set bonuses in place for up to $350 million dollars extra.

Aspyr’s most noteworthy achievements through history serviced as a studio that merely ported PC games over to Apple’s MacOS.

However their most recent work includes porting over the 2002 classic game “STAR WARS Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast” onto the Nintendo Switch and Soyny PlaugeStation 4.

Not exactly a development studio per say hence probably why it was so cheap at only $100 million USD for the acquisition but I suppose the blokes in Austin Texas are more than talented enough if Saber Interactive or THQ Nordic for that matter wish to bring something back from the archive.

Meanwhile the biggest acquisition made by the Embracer Group for today certainly has to be the purchase of Gearbox Software for the sum of $1.3 Billion dollars.

With the acquisition seemingly absorbing both Gearbox Software and Gearbox Publishing, the Frisco, Texas based group has been around for ages now and is most notably known for such classics as Battleborn, Duke Nukem Forever and Aliens Colonial Marines.

Just fucking with you as they’re obviously known for their one-hit wonder the Borderlands franchise.

The deal has been set with an initial payment of $363 million dollars with a commitment to pay the rest of its $1.3 B deal over the course of the next six years.

To me Gearbox Software has a personal placement in my heart for being one of the most despicable studios imaginable, and considering that I absolutely adore the original 2009 Borderlands and a little lesser so for its 2012 sequel Borderlands 2. The company has a whole has made quite the many plunders and that’s putting it lightly.

The greatest thing to come from the Embracer acquisition is that “totally not a pedophile, just a magic camwhore enthusiast” CEO Randy Pitchford, one of the founders of Gearbox Software will continue his leading role as supposedly Gearbox Software will “operate” as it once was as an independent studio with Gearbox employees becoming shareholders in Embracer.

Randy Bitchford said the following in a statement:

“The feeling at Gearbox is that we are just getting started and this transaction is not merely a stimulant for the talent of our employee-owned company, but a propellent for the exciting future we have planned.”

In case you needed a small reminder as to why retaining Randy Pitchford is a complete joke in and of itself the man singlehandedly ruined both Duke Nukem and Aliens franchise, the latter of which actually almost killed SEGA.

Randy Pitchford and the slave labor known as Gearbox have absolutely destroyed the one franchise that actually fucking had, being on bad terms with voice actors and story writers with the Borderlands franchise. Shoveling shitty memes and retarded PG culture into the series.

Killing every franchise he’s had a grasp on, including the Borderlands series. Randy may not be extremely talented at well… keeping talent but at least he’ll sing you a song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BmuPUiYAX8

In fact Randy Pitchford went so far as to physically assault David Eddings, the old voice artist for Claptrap who has worked among other various Gearbox titles.

Given that it’s a well known fact that during the development of the original Borderlands that had drastically changed art direction during development utilizing the well renowned cell shaded graphic design that we all know and love today.

Well Randy stole that one too, from a short movie dubbed “Codehunters“.

Continuing onwards Randy was responsible for accidentally dropping a USB stick filled with company files and documents and most importantly what’s presumed to be underaged pornography, of which Randy fought back with the claim that he was just flabbergasted at all the “magic tricks” the woman in the video could do with her pussy. A true connoisseur of all things magic ‘ey Randy?

On top of failing to land the same success with new IPs such as Battleborn which was taken offline on January 31st.

Borderlands 3 has recently sold over 10 million copies but I just can’t see why, with no correlational to the story laid by its previous installments Borderlands 3 is just a long ass boring woke fest.

There’s a special place in hell for those who use Jakobs Munitions. 

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